Bouncing. Back and forth. Back and forth. On the floor. Off the wall. Back and forth. I'm starting to feel more like a ping pong ball each day. Not so much from all the travel, but from a question I have had to answer many times in past months:
Where are you from?
hmmmmmm. Well...? This country? Or that country? Childhood home? Well, there were quite a few of those. Where I currently reside? my goodness. Who knows? I have one hundred answers. And my poor children, they may never be able to answer that question.
Back and forth. Bouncing around all over the place in my heart. Back and forth.
How can you feel home? How can you find home? How do you make a place home? How do you become a person from somewhere?
And my eyes land on familiar words that make my heart sigh in relief:
Lord, through all generations, you have been our home! Psalm 90:1
Maybe I'm not supposed to be from somewhere but from someone. My head lines up with my heart on this thought in agreement. When you belong to Him and live where He has asked you to and try your best to do what He's telling you to, that feels like home. That's where you belong. And that's where you can find home. In Him.
To be honest, the words of that verse also bring a certain measure of frustration. They still don't help me nail down a location on the map.
What and awkward answer: "I'm from God." Picturing the looks on people's faces does make me laugh a little.
But I look down and see the place where my two feet have landed, and that is my home. And if i believe in my heart that anywhere He has asked me to be, is where I'm from, then it's time I do something about it. If i truly believe it, my life should show it.
So, it's time to learn to be from where I live.
Learning indicates that I will do many things multiple times, until I know.
Grocery shopping, friends, coffee at a newly found favorite spot, celebrations, gathering around our table, saying hello to neighbors and learning to live close by, school rush and holidays, tasting, smelling, and feeling each season as they come. Marking days of sorrow and gladness and coming back to them each year as an Ebenezer, to remember what God has done. Trying each day to obey. Not letting days slip by without saying thank you and please, to God and those around us. Loving and living big. Finding and meeting God everyday in the middle of it all.
There's a million ways to learn to be from where I live, and I keep doing them until I know. Over and over and over. The more I do them, less I bounce back and forth.
The more I do these things, the more I know, He is home - in my generation too.
But I know He is there, because He's everywhere. And maybe my new answer will be that I'm still figuring that out.
Where am I from?
I'm learning to be from where I live.